What if I told you that all of your romantic relationships, every single one of them, were doomed from the start? That you didn’t have a chance from the moment you met that person? In every relationship, no matter how perfect it is, there will always be problems, arguments and disagreements.
Don’t get into a relationship if you are not willing to commit. There’s no such thing as “open” relationships. Don’t date a girl/boy that’s been with a lot of men/women. Don’t date a girl/boy you don’t have anything in common with.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve. If you’re not getting what you want, stop settling and demand more or move on to someone else.
This article will demonstrate 12 brutal truth about relationships.
1. One Will Be the Taker and the Other the Giver.
Relationships are not that difficult, they just require two people to be honest with themselves and each other. Here are 15 Rules of Love: How to Keep Your Relationship Alive
Relationships are a constant give and take. But I’m here to tell you today that I have seen a lot of relationships lately where one person is always giving and the other is always taking.
Eventually the taker will grow tired of giving and they will stop. Then the giver will become upset because they will feel like they aren’t getting anything back from their relationship.
Then the relationship will start to crumble. The giver is usually the one who always picks up the check, does the groceries, keeps the house in order and does most of the emotional work. In most cases this individual is also more “sensitive”
The giver also tends to do most of the work in a relationship but very few people acknowledge them for it because they have become used to seeing one person as more “needy” than the other.
2. Make Sure the Person You Love Respects Your Thoughts and Feelings.
Love is a word that many people like to use when it comes to the person they are dating. For some, love is the reason for the relationship and others use the word love to describe what they feel when it comes to the person they are sleeping with.
But love should not be used as a word that is thrown around without regard for what it really means. Loving someone is not something that you do because it is the right thing to do but loving someone is respecting the other person’s feelings, thoughts and values.
If a person does not respect you, they will say and do what they want without regard for your thoughts or feelings. You should do your best to make sure the person you love respects you.
It sounds simple, but many people in relationships do not seem to think this way. If the person you love does not respect your thoughts and feelings, they will say and do whatever they want, regardless of how it makes you feel.
3. Don’t Let Your Expectation Grow.
Keeping expectations in a relationship is the worst idea you can have. I know what you’re thinking.. “How could keeping expectations in a relationship be the worst thing?” It’s simple, because if you keep any expectation you will always be disappointed.
If you expect your partner to do something for you, then he or she will never go beyond that. If you expect your partner to be a certain way, then he or she will never be that way.
If you expect your partner to like the same things as you, then he or she will never like the same things as you. Pretty much, if you are expecting anything from your partner, then your relationship will never grow and solidify.
The reason is because your expectations are limiting your partner’s potential and they might as well never be met.
4. Give Space Your Partner When Don’t Want to Talk.
You are a busy person. And your partner is, too.
You each have a lot on your plate because you work hard and have big dreams. You probably both have a long to-do list every day, and you likely have separate to-do lists, as well.
The world is moving fast, and it’s not slowing down anytime soon. The pressure to keep up with your dreams can feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders.
If someone you care about isn’t responding to you how do you want them to handle it differently? Don’t force them to respond.
Don’t be an asshole about it. But don’t force them to respond if they really don’t want to talk to you at that moment.
Forcing interaction is never a good thing. If someone doesn’t want to talk to you right then, give them the space they need.
It can be hard to tell the difference between fighting and resolving an issue if you are in a relationship. Resolution is not always a clear-cut path, but if we understand what effective communication looks like, we can greatly increase our chances for success.
5. Some People Will Not Return Your Love.
Some people will not return your love. Some will take it, and when they have it, they wish they had never had it. They’ll wish they never knew you, so they can move on with their lives. Some people are like that.
In life, you will encounter people that will not appreciate your love and kindness, but the most important thing is to move on and continue loving those who do appreciate your love.
You will encounter some people who just want to drag you down with their negative ways, but the most important thing is to let them go for your sanity and theirs as well. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Negative energy attracts negative energy.
6. Most People Are Not Thankful or Notice What You Do for Them.
Most people are not thankful or notice what you do for them. They only care about what you do for them now. If you take that away, they go back to ignoring your existence. The best thing you can do is just do good for people and ignore the rest. You will drown yourself in self-pity if you don’t learn this lesson.
The true test of friendship is when you stop doing things for people and see if they still like you or not. This is why doing some things anonymously is the best way to go.
It makes it easier if you ignore the thank you because most of the time, people don’t thank you first; they just keep doing what they want to do.
They only care that they can continue doing it while thinking of how they can get more.
7. Always Match Their Effort.
A relationship is a work. Dating is work. Being in a relationship is work. Just because it’s not a paid position doesn’t mean it shouldn’t come with an hourly or daily salary. Relationships require hours of your focus and entire days of attention and action.
The truth of love is that sometimes the other person is barely there. As in, you’ll be telling a story, and they will be looking at their phone. How do you handle that?
The brutal truth of love is that sometimes, no matter how loud you are talking or how many times you repeat yourself, wave your hands, or make some wacky movements, they will not act as if they hear you no matter what you do. It’s not because they’re mean or rude; it’s just because their attention is elsewhere.
8. Do Not Let Anyone Waste Your Time.
Do not let anyone waste your time. Do not let anyone waste your time because there is no chance of getting it back. There are 7 billion people in the world, and each has one life to live.
Do not let anyone waste your time. Even if you think that the person is really really really special! Do not let anyone waste your time. Even if he or she is the only one you can imagine spending your life with right now!
Even if you think it is the only way you can show and prove that you are in love with this person. Do not let anyone waste your time. Because it is the most precious thing, you have got in your life.
9. Leave the Past in the Past.
Changing as time goes on is inevitable. People grow, mature and learn from life’s experiences. Sometimes changes are positive, and sometimes they can be negative.
The person you knew years ago may not be the same person that’s in front of you now, whether it’s due to a change of heart or due to the fact that they grew up, the person has changed.
Every day there are news stories about how someone “changed”.
A lot of stories are told about how someone has changed over the years, meaning they went from doing good to bad, or even vice versa.
This is not only limited to love but can apply to any kind of relationship you might have with someone.
No matter how bad a relationship was, how rough the breakup was, or how much damage was done in any previous relationships, in order to move forward, you have to leave the past behind you, and that’s easier said than done.
Love is a beautiful thing, but sometimes you have to let go of the past in order to move forward. Sometimes when people change, it is drastic, sometimes, it is subtle. You need to be able to separate the person you were from the person you are now. If you can’t do that, you have to let go and leave the past in the past.
10. Pay Attention to More of What a Person Does Than Says.
We have all met this person who is always talking about how they love doing this or doing that, but their actions speak a different story. We have all heard how someone is so awesome or great, but the truth is they are not.
Because of the advancement of social media, too many people become blinded by what someone says or represents online.
Words are just that, words and, at times, have little to do with the facts of what is really happening. For example, a guy may say all the right words to a girl so that she falls in love with him, but if he is playing her like a fool and cheating on her behind her back, well, the result of love doesn’t love at all, it is a pain.
So pay attention to a person’s actions, from the tone in their voice to the look in their eye.
11. You Cannot Love Anyone if You Do Not Love Yourself.
Let me ask you this. When was the last time you said “I love you” to yourself? And I’m not talking about yelling at yourself in the mirror or catching yourself in the act of some self-hate.
Do you know how many people genuinely tell you how much they love you? 50%. And that’s the generous side. So how many people genuinely remind themselves how much they love themselves?
I’m willing to bet a large portion of humanity doesn’t even know how to tell themselves, let alone remind and show themselves.
12. Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid.
Some things may be better left unsaid, but the brutal truth of love is that words can hurt.
And when you’re in love, if you’re like me, you likely want to be 100% truthful and honest with the person you love.
But sometimes, the truth can be too much for them to bear. Sometimes, it’s best to hold back on certain aspects of your feelings and wait until they are ready.
It’s not easy to tell someone they are wrong, especially when you don’t really like them that much. Being “the bigger person” and swallowing your pride is better than saying hurtful things and having to apologize later on.