Love is a universal concept that has been written about and explored for centuries. From poets and philosophers to scientists and therapists, everyone has their own take on what love is and how it should be approached. With so many different opinions and perspectives, it can be difficult to navigate the world of love and relationships.
Fortunately, there are some guidelines that can help us navigate this complex terrain. In this blog post, we will explore 15 rules of love that can help you build stronger, healthier relationships with the people you care about. Whether you’re single and looking for love, or in a committed relationship, these rules can provide valuable insights into what it takes to create a lasting, fulfilling partnership.
So whether you’re a hopeless romantic or a skeptic when it comes to matters of the heart, read on to discover the 15 rules of love that can help you create the kind of relationships you’ve always wanted.
1. When It Arrives, Cherish It
It’s hard to tell what life is from moment to moment, we stand in different here and now with different circumstances, but misfortune is the final thing, provided that when we do not cherish the good in life, we may lose a good opportunity, love is no exception.
Love is a long walk at night, hand in hand. Love is a long glance from across the room, a lingering gaze. Love is a spontaneous dance in the middle of the street. Love is a slow dance to your favorite song. Love is a new, unexplored city. Love is an act of courage and an act of faith. Love is that thing we look for all our lives, and yet it is right there, standing in front of us.
This is why I believe you should love without rules when it’s true love. Love is like breathing: fun until you have to do it a little too often. But if it’s the right person, it’s worth holding your breath for as long as you can.
When we are in love, we seem to make it our life mission to make it work at all costs. However, you will do everything to protect your love, but there is one thing that you should not do to preserve your love, and that is a lie.
The reason why you must not lie to protect your love is that if you get caught, your partner will lose trust in you and once trust is gone, it’s hard to bring back.
For the sake of your relationship and your own sanity, you should never lie. And, don’t delay to cherish it when it arrives.
2. Understand That Love is a Mirror—it Will Show Us Who We Are if We Allow It to
Understand that love is a mirror—it will show us who we are if we allow it to. Love is not the result of what we project onto another person but rather it shows us, like a mirror, who we are. As love shines on us, it reflects a clearer picture of ourselves.
Love is a mirror. It reflects back to us our truest selves. When we’re unlovable, it shows us how love really feels. When we feel worthy of love it shows us the depths of our own hearts and the measure of our capacity for empathy.
That feeling you have—that you are not enough and you will never be loved—is the feeling I never want you to have. That unbearable weight of loneliness is the cloak of sadness that I want to help you shake off and never feel again because that cloak has no place in your world.
3. Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It is Not the Other Person’s Responsibility
I think love is a very misunderstood concept and why people fail in their relationships. People always blame the other person for not being good enough for them but the truth is we are the only ones who can make ourselves happy.
The only person you can always be sure of in life is yourself. Failure has no permanent consequences, so you can always start over again. You can win the battle by letting your opponent wear himself out first.
To be successful, you need to know yourself and understand how far you can go. It’s OK to tell other people what they want to hear if it helps you get what you want. There are no prizes for losing or winning.
So there is no reason to lose. Every day, try to become a tiny bit better than you were the day before. Whatever road you choose, travel it with all your heart.
The universe is governed by harmony and balance. Be careful not to disturb this balance.
4. Don’t Say Words With the Intent to Hurt
In love don’t say words with the intent to hurt, mean what you say, do not wait until you are ready to put it into action, because everyone is born with an expiration date, so don’t allow someone to waste their time by waiting for you to be ready, so if you choose to love, give all of yourself from the start.
5. Don’t Be Scared to Disagree, It is Healthy
In a relationship with your partner don’t be scared to disagree, it is healthy. Respect each other’s differences. Accept their ideas and see the world through their eyes. You don’t have to agree on everything but you should always be open to hearing one another out.
With every argument, you have a chance to improve your relationship and make it stronger.
6. Do Not Punish or Abuse
In a relationship do not punish or abuse your partner. If you go out with your boyfriend or girlfriend, do not punish or abuse your partner, do not be rude to your partner during the date.
Even if you are angry, you should control yourself and try to avoid being jealous of your partner. Believe that you and your partner can work well together. Be friendly to each other and have a good time with each other.
7. Accept Honest Criticism, It is Good for You
Don’t let pride or fear fuel your denial. Get it out in the open and take responsibility for your actions. It may be uncomfortable, but it’s better than risking losing someone you care about over something that can be easily resolved by honesty and humility.
Yes, it’s hard to swallow your pride and admit that you messed up. But the sooner you can admit your mistakes, the sooner you can make things right again. It may not seem like such a big deal now, but your partner will surely see it as such if you let the silence grow between you.
There are few feelings worse than when you realize you were in the wrong and are holding onto a grudge because of it. We don’t need to hold onto grudges and we shouldn’t deny our mistakes. Grudges are bad for us. Holding onto our anger only keeps us from focusing on how to resolve the situation.
Our minds like to keep things tidy. Grudges don’t fit into the neat little package our brains try to create for each situation.
While admitting you’re wrong can sometimes be difficult and even cause you to stumble, it’s an important skill that contributes to better relationships.
Here are a few steps to doing it correctly:
- Think carefully before responding.
- Stop yourself from interrupting each other.
- Listen and acknowledge to be heard.
- Acknowledge your responsibility for the issue.
- Stay calm and don’t bring up old issues.
- Stay positive, focusing on solutions instead of the problem.
- Take accountability for your actions and don’t make excuses.
- Offer an apology with a genuine desire to change.
If the issue comes up over and over again, and you feel that you’ve made your point as many times as you can and still be open to hearing about your mistakes, close the conversation.
Consider asking your partner to change his or her behavior instead of asking for special treatment from you. This might seem a bit simplistic, but there is a lot of relationship science behind it.
8. When You Know You’re Wrong, Admit It Quickly
Before responding to someone who is angry, consider whether they have a legitimate gripe. One way to tell is to check if they are asserting facts or feelings. In the first case, acknowledge their point. In the second case, acknowledge their feelings.
Tangentially, the tone of the language is key here. Acknowledge their feelings by talking about how your actions made them feel, instead of talking about how you actually intended to act.
When you know you’re wrong, admit it quickly. It’s a simple rule, but it can make a real difference in relationships. Here’s how:
Step 1: Figure out if you’re wrong.
Step 2: If you are, apologize(this can be done even in situations where you’re not technically wrong).
Step 3: If you aren’t, say why and put a stake in the ground.
Step 4: Follow up by changing your behavior if necessary.
Step 5: If the issue comes up over and over again, and you feel that you’ve made your point as many times as you can and still be open to hearing about your mistakes, close the conversation.
Step 6: Consider asking your partner to change his or her behavior instead of asking for special treatment from you.
This might seem a bit simplistic, but there is a lot of relationship science behind it.
9. Support Each Other When the Going Gets Tough
As relationships are hard work, it’s easy to get frustrated and forget that you should support your partner when they’re going through a rough time.
Sometimes in our most difficult moments, we are forced to face ourselves and decide whether we will keep on fighting or give up. At these times, it’s essential to have someone who’ll stand by your side and encourage you. It’s also essential to be that person for someone else when they need it most.
The power of support is very strong, and the internet is a great place for it to thrive. By encouraging yourself and others, you can achieve great things together. And when one person is in need, many other people will make sure to catch them if they fall.
10. Leave the Past Where It Belongs
The secret to a successful relationship is to keep the past where it belongs — in the past! It’s your obligation as a lover to be the best you can be for your partner. When you consciously make that effort to improve yourself, everyone wins.
There will be times when it feels like you and your mate are going head to head. Sometimes everything seems to be going wrong or right, you’re probably not alone. It’s just another day in your life. There are highs and lows in all relationships but on bad days, enjoy the low moments.
If you’re headed down a road of regrets and resentments, don’t worry. It happens all the time. In fact, there are many ways that people often find themselves stuck in negative patterns. You may have even found yourself thinking back to your childhood.
11. Think Carefully Before Responding
In a relationship, think carefully before responding, listen more than you speak, seek the good in each other and never ignore the harmony that makes you feel at ease. Having patience for feelings will not be expressed in the same way. Little by little you will understand.
Trusting is the first step to being vulnerable. Being open is the first step to sincere communication.
Don’t react initially. If you are in a heated argument or fight, pause for a moment and step back. Keep calm. Take your time to cool off. Don’t ever say anything in the heat of anger. Your words might come back to haunt you.
And if they do, it can only mean more pain and regret. It’s very unfortunate that people are human and they have feelings. It’s part of life and it’s something that can’t be avoided.
What matters is how we deal with these feelings and emotions that come our way every day. It is important to always be in control of ourselves and remain patient when dealing with other people.
It is important that we don’t hurt each other too much especially when it comes to our partners, family members, friends or colleagues at work.
You must respond to all texts, even if you don’t want to. If you don’t, things will fester and it will all blow up in your face.
Texting is the fastest form of communication. It’s also the most dangerous, especially when used between two people who’ve been drinking. You have to be completely clear with what you say, particularly if it’s something that could be misconstrued because they’re never going to know your intentions.
Never write anything that can be misinterpreted while you are angry or drunk. Your emotions are high when you’re angry and your inhibitions are nonexistent when you’re drunk.
If you need to get something off your chest, call them and tell them in person.
12. Don’t Try to Control
Don’t try to control a relationship. When you are in love don’t try to control or have power over the other person. You cannot change another person and if you try to change them you will not understand them and you will fail.
Love them, and love them in the way that you feel is most genuine. Love the way that you’re most comfortable. Don’t try to control the other person. But if you find yourself trying to control your partner, it might be a good time to sit back and ask yourself why you feel the need to do that.
13. Allow a Small Amount of Jealousy
In a longtime relationship, the foundation of trust is the most important thing. There is always room for improvement, but if you find yourself saying these things when your significant other go out with friends, it may be a sign that there are unrealistic expectations on your part.
The jealous person expects his or her partner to be completely faithful and loyal, while completely trusting that person. The issue is that trust is earned through a series of positive actions.
If one of those actions is negative like cheating, then it takes away from the overall amount of trust. Jealousy can actually generate further infidelity because the other partner feels controlled and may start looking for ways to secretly rebel against the controlling party.
In a relationship allows a small amount of jealousy. Here’s why:
- If you’re not feeling at least some jealousy, it’s because your partner is doing something that makes you feel inadequate—and nobody likes living in that kind of relationship.
- Small doses of jealousy can often help remind you that you’re not just “OK,” but actually awesome. (Because anyone who makes you feel inadequate is also proving that you are, in fact, awesome.)
- Jealousy can be a sign that something in your relationship is out of whack—and if there’s no real reason for it, then maybe you should rethink some things and see what needs to change.
14. Don’t Use Comparisons
When you’re starting to fall in love with someone, it’s a beautiful thing. You want to be with them all the time. They’re funny and sweet, this person is really different from anyone else you’ve ever met before. That is because you two were made for each other.
The first thing that happens next is that your friends start to compare. “Why aren’t you as funny as her? Why aren’t you as nice as him? It sounds like they have a lot in common with each other so they must get along better than you two do.”
In relationships, we can compare ourselves to others and it always feels like they have the advantage over us. It makes us feel bad about ourselves or bad about our relationship. Some people even say things like “I’m not ready yet. I need someone better first.
Don’t let people put you down or make you think that you’re not good enough or pretty enough for someone else. You may be the only one who can bring happiness to their life.
Don’t let people tell you it’s not going to work or you’re going to get hurt, love yourself and put yourself first. No one is going to love you if you don’t love yourself.
In a relationship don’t use comparisons.
- At first, we never know what love feels like but we always want to experience it.
- We don’t know what love feels like because we have only felt the emotional pain of rejection.
- We don’t fall in love because we are scared to get hurt and not sure if it’s worth it.
- We do not want to fall in love because we are scared that the pain of separation and loss is going to be too much for us to bear.
- We will not let anyone in because we don’t know how to protect our hearts from more hurt and disappointment.
- We won’t let anyone in because we are scared that someone may “break” us.
- We will not let anyone in because we feel like if we give all of our love, our time, our money, and our heart to someone and they leave us, then we will have nothing left.
15. Communicate Openly and Honestly
It’s hard, to be honest, and tell your partner what you really think or feel. It’s even harder when they’re physically with you but emotionally absent.
Because there are a lot of different things that can come into play, it gets a bit tricky trying to figure out when and how you should open up about your feelings.
When it comes to relationships, communication is truly one of the most important elements of making things last.
If you’re having a hard time figuring out how to tell your partner how you’re feeling without making them mad/upset or them having a hard time telling you what they need, then this guide is for you.
If your partner asks “how are you?” They are not looking for the answer “good,” “fine” or “nothing new.” They want to know how YOU are doing.
Keep an open mind, heart, and ear when listening to your partner’s point of view. Acknowledge that their perspective is equally valid as yours and that you would like to hear more about it.
Examine what is really going on beneath the surface, but don’t leap to conclusions or draw premature conclusions about things that are not true.
Whether you’re struggling with communication, trust, or intimacy in your current relationship, or looking for ways to attract a partner who is right for you, these rules can provide valuable insights and strategies that can help you achieve your goals.
Ultimately, the most important thing to remember about love is that it is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, effort, and commitment to building a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. By keeping these 15 rules of love in mind, you can navigate the ups and downs of the journey with greater confidence, resilience, and grace.