When you are cheated on, it is natural to want to figure out what went wrong. You want to identify why your partner was unfaithful and how you can change yourself to change how the relationship goes.
You try to find out what went wrong, and you expect that once you’ve found the reasons, there will be a way out, and you will do whatever is necessary to avoid the relationship from ending.
We all know that cheaters usually have a pattern of behavior. You can help yourself by recognizing two things:
The first one is how important your fidelity is to you. If you are not a person who is easily influenced and you can find yourself in a mental state where you can take a joke, then the probability that you will be cheated on is low.
The second one is if you are faithful to the man/woman and he/she betrays you, do not torture yourself by thinking about what might have been. Do not blame yourself. Do not think that your life is over.
It’s time to evaluate whether your relationship is worth saving and how much you love it. Perhaps the first step towards the beginning of a new life is the end of an old one. So do not blame yourself for being in this situation.
The bottom line is that you can only control your actions; even if your partner has changed, it does not mean something is wrong with you.
This article will describe how to stop overthinking after being cheated on.
1. Focus on the Present Moment
The past has already happened. The future is not yet in front of us. All that is left is the present moment. Don’t let overthinking after being cheated prevent you from living in the present.
Focus on what you’re doing right now, and you’ll be able to enjoy life just as much as you did before your partner cheated on you.
Stay in the present whenever you want to.
- Change your perspective on life – We spend too much time worrying about the things we can’t control and not enough time working on things we can. Remembering this will help you keep your emotions in check and stop overthinking after being cheated on.
- Practice gratitude – This will help you keep track of all the good things in your life and take your mind off of the bad stuff by reminding you that you need to appreciate what you have before it’s too late.
If your relationship ends due to infidelity, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to trust your partner again. This means that if your ex was having an affair, the best thing for you to do is end the relationship and move on with your life.
When it comes to moving on from an affair, most people do not realize that it is possible to recover from the pain of being cheated on. Still, it is also possible to have a relationship where both partners can feel safe and secure again.
2. Practice Self-care
If you have been cheated on, the best way to begin the practice of self-care is to realize that the feelings you are having are temporary. I know that’s easier said than done, and once you’ve been hurt this badly, it’s hard not to hang on to the negative emotions, but they will pass if you give them a chance.
We all know that sick feeling that comes from the top of our heads down to the tips of our toes. It’s that agonizing feeling when you look in the mirror, at yourself, and see your reflection. Your chest is pounding, you’re out of breath, and it feels like you’re dying.
Keep these things in mind:
- The sunsets and rises again every day.
- You will cry for that person you once called your lover, and then one day, you will smile because the sun always sets on the horizon, regardless of how good or bad your day was.
- You must remember that something beautiful is always waiting behind the clouds.
- And you will never have to worry about being cheated on again because nothing will ever be as bad as it was when they broke up with you.
- The sun always rises.
3. Change Your Environment
You’re going through a hard breakup after someone you love has cheated on you. When your partner cheats on you, it is not just the fact they cheated, but they will often lie to you and say nothing happened, which causes you to start overthinking. You keep playing the moment in your head and trying to find reasons why they cheated.
But you don’t realize that all this time you have spent overthinking has destroyed your relationship, and even if they come back to you, your insecurities will always be there.
You’ve tried to get over them but still can’t move on. Yet you do stupid things like checking their Instagram feed, emailing them, and even calling them. You should change your environment and make it worse when these things don’t work.
A change of scenery gives you the time and space to heal. If you’re overthinking everything in your head, a change of scenery will help you focus on something else. It will force you out of your environment and take your mind off your ex.
If you’re in school, talk to your professor about switching classes. Switch roommates if you share accommodations with a friend or live with family members.
Comfort zones can be great for you. If comfort zones are bad for you, change your environment. Go to a different part of town where no one knows you or has any idea who you were with before.
4. Accept the Things You Can’t Control
You’ll probably never fully accept the things you can’t control, but once you accept that, you’ll be happier.
You can only control your response to what happened to you. Stop overthinking about it. You think about it a lot, but you’re not going to fix it by thinking about it. No one will magically appear and solve all your problems for you.
That person isn’t coming back. Even if it seems like everyone else is moving on with their lives and you’re the only one who still hasn’t found someone else, that isn’t true. You haven’t found anyone else because you keep trying to look for someone like the person who hurt you.
You can control the way you respond to the situation. You can control whether you remain in or leave the relationship. You can control whether or not you make the same mistake again. But you can’t control everything.
The past is the past. People look for answers and closure, so they go back to the beginning to understand what went wrong. Then they look at themselves and their behavior in hindsight, looking for signs of how things could have been different.
The truth is, you simply can’t change things that happened in the past. There’s no sense in wallowing; you should accept things that you can’t control and move on with your life.
You are angry, you are sad, you are frustrated, and you should be all of those things. It’s normal. You’ve been cheated on, and it sucks. The person you gave your heart to is with someone else.
First, accept that you can’t control the situation and that things will never go back to how they were before. But then ask yourself this — what can you control?
Let me break it down for you:
- What can I do to make myself happy?
- Where can I find happiness?
- What will make me happy in the long run?
- What can I do to make myself happy?
You deserve to be happy. It doesn’t matter what anyone else decides. You will be fine, but you should be angry, upset, and sad because that is the appropriate response in this situation.
5. Use Positive Affirmations to Train Your Brain
If you’re like most individuals, after being cheated on, your mind races. Your brain becomes obsessed with everything the person did to hurt you and why it happened. You want answers. You want closure. You want to know if it will ever happen again.
You get up in the middle of the night, while you’re in class, or even at work, to text that person and see if they are being honest with you. You will not change who that person is, but you can change how you react to what they did and how it makes you feel.
While it’s true that thinking about the past can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from making the same mistake again, most people don’t need a history lesson in their current relationship to feel like a partner has cheated on them.
They need to understand that their partner had a lapse in judgment, but that doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t love them.
When you’re ready to stop thinking and start living without regret, here are some positive affirmations that focus on moving forward.
- I’m willing to accept a good, better, or best version of myself.
- I will not allow a failed relationship to define who I am.
- I am moving forward with my life, leaving behind anything that holds me back.
- My life is filled with love and happiness.
- I deserve to be happy.
6. Improve the Relationship You Have With Yourself
These days, it seems like we’re all too quick to fall into the trap of negative thoughts and self-doubt. People go online to solve all of their self-esteem issues, but it’s time we start talking about the root of the problem.
You can’t solve these issues by reading a few articles and watching a few videos. The reason why you feel bad about your relationship with yourself is that you have failed to give your brain positive affirmations.
Most people’s relationships are harmful. They engage in self-defeating thoughts and behavior patterns that leave them depressed and anxious. But if you want to stop overthinking and feel happier in life, it’s essential to improve the relationship you have with yourself.
What is the main reason for this? The main reason for this is that most people don’t understand how to care for themselves.
They engage in self-defeating thoughts and behavior patterns that leave them feeling depressed and anxious. And they don’t know how to break the negative cycle they’ve created with their own minds.
The power of positive affirmations when you feel good about yourself, impacts every area of your life. You’re more confident, healthier, and happier in general. When you’re optimistic and happy, your relationships improve.
When your relationships improve, you stand a better chance of resolving situations that might be causing unhappiness and a lack of confidence.
7. Don’t Try to Answer Unanswerable Questions
May Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are thinking about your ex and wondering if you made a mistake? Did you allow yourself to be blindsided by the signs there all along?
Did you talk yourself out of acting because you didn’t want to be “the bad guy”? Did you think it would never happen to you? Are you working too hard to convince yourself that everything is okay when you know it’s not deep down inside?
To stop overthinking after being cheated on, first and foremost, learn to trust yourself. When something doesn’t feel right, act immediately. Don’t waste your precious time, energy, or money on someone who doesn’t love or respect you.
Do not blindside yourself. If a problem arises and can’t be resolved, don’t repeat what appears to be a pattern of behavior. Take action to avoid further heartache and pain.
Cut ties, remove the source of negative influence, and think about what happened. Do your best to change it and move on.
8. Do Something You Love
I’m not sure why, but being cheated on has sparked some interesting thoughts and conversations in my head. I’ve had my suspicions before and lied to many times in the past, but it wasn’t until now that it happened.
That bullshit. Despite the red flags, I still trusted, loved, and cared for her. She chose someone else over me in a moment of weakness and vulnerability. After she decided that she didn’t have time for me anymore, I found myself in a reflective and positive state of mind despite how much I tried to convince her otherwise.
After crying for days, weeks and months, I realized that it was time for me to start reflecting on the idea that I am valuable and important. I’m tired of being told that my life isn’t significant enough to be taken seriously.
9. Journal Your Feelings
Many people are confused about how they should journal while they are going through a breakup and the main reason is because of all the online content that is being produced these days. There is so much conflicting information out there it is hard to figure out what you should do to get your mind right.
So first off, let’s talk about why you should journal your feelings after being cheated on. You need a place to put all of your emotions, and if you are not doing it, where are you putting them? If you are constantly writing in a journal or just having some type of written schedule for yourself, it will help prevent you from overthinking your situation.
It’s common to have a lot of thoughts running through our heads, especially regarding the person who cheated on us.
As time goes by, we start overthinking what we said or did wrong. Then, we begin to worry about if the person will ever forgive us or if he or she is ever going to change their ways.
Realizing that you are overthinking is a good thing. It means that you are trying to be a better person and have a great relationship with self-awareness. Overthinking can bring us to places in life where we need to learn the most and make us grow into the best possible versions of ourselves.
Overthinking is good when it doesn’t make you lose your mind over something you have no control over.
The saying goes, ‘time heals all wounds.’ This is a true statement, but it’s not the full picture. Yes, time will help your hurt heal, and it will be easier to move on. However, that doesn’t mean that you’ll ultimately be over it.
Over time, you will accept that the relationship ended, and things won’t return to how they once were. That may be what you want, but it doesn’t mean you won’t miss certain aspects of the relationship. That’s why you should journal your feelings.
10. Get in the Best Physical Shape You Can
The physical changes that happen to your body once you find out your partner are having an affair are eerie. A study conducted by researchers at the University of North Carolina and reported by Science Daily found that when people are jealous, they exhibit traits similar to those of cocaine addicts.
The symptoms include hostility and obsessiveness. When someone is cheating, they usually engage in activities they would never normally do. When a person gets addicted to cocaine, there are also some drastic physical changes.
- You shouldn’t have to be destroyed and feel you’ve been thrown to the side like a piece of trash.
- You shouldn’t have to have your heart broken and feel worthless.
- You shouldn’t have to question your self-esteem after being rejected by someone who you thought loved you.
- When you’re in shape, chances are you’ll feel more confident, and this can help with feeling stronger emotionally than before. This is not always the case, but it certainly can help a lot of people.
- You shouldn’t allow your pain to consume you and control you.
- One of the best ways to improve yourself is to put more time and effort into getting fit. The gym is an excellent place to do this.
- Getting in shape can be an excellent distraction if you’re trying to stop overthinking after being cheated on.
11. Learn to Forgive and Move on
Your heart is broken. You don’t know what to do. You’ve been cheated on, and now you can’t stop overthinking it.
When you learn to forgive and forget to move on, life comes back into focus. I believe you deserve happiness, and you are deserving of true love. The key is forgiveness and moving on.
The pain that comes with being cheated on can be very intense, but we all can find the strength to get through it. The first step is forgiving yourself for allowing your trust to be broken in the first place, then ignoring him or her for doing something so hurtful.
Because this person is not worthy of your forgiveness and, more importantly, your trust, moving on should come quickly now.
If you’re asking yourself how to let go of him or her, I’m here to tell you that it’s not easy, but it can be done.
12. Do Something Nice for Others
Being in a relationship means dealing with the jealousy and doubts that arise when it seems like things are not going well for your partner.
The way that you should feel is not at all harmful. Instead, it’s very positive as you begin to focus on trying to do something nice for someone else.
It’s going to work no matter what. You will forget your heartbreak. You will get over it very quickly, and even if it doesn’t, then by at least doing something nice of your own, you’ll be helping someone else have an even better day than they would have had otherwise.
In the end, you’ll feel happier as a person. Acknowledging that your thoughts are causing you to dwell on the negative in life is a huge step in finding true happiness. Easier said than done, but pushing those negative thoughts aside will be the best thing you can do for yourself.
13. Resist the Temptation to Seek Revenge
If your partner has hurt you, you will want to resist the temptation to seek revenge and do everything you can to move on in your life. “When someone breaks up with you, it’s like death,” said relationship expert April Masini. “When we love and lose, it hurts more than anything.”
When trying to get over someone who has cheated on you, one of the best things you can do is try to think about your ex the least amount possible.
Revenge is like a wild dog that, once it has tasted blood, wants more, and when it cannot get more, it will turn on those who set it loose. This means your quest for revenge will only make you feel worse than you do right now. Sometimes anger is justified, but revenge is not.
Revenge hides in a cloud of smoke, so you cannot see the path ahead clearly. The haze of revenge can cause you to do things that give you as much bad karma as the person who betrayed your trust.
We have all been hurt at one time or another by another person’s betrayal, whether friends, family, siblings, or spouses. The pain we experience from betrayal is often genuine and emotional. The wound of being betrayed can drive us toward some very destructive behaviors.
14. Rebounds Will Hurt You More
You have been cheated on before and know how much it hurts. You now have a decision to make: Do you find a rebound? A rebound is someone you date after the breakup. Now let us think about this for a second. Why would you want to date another if your ex-partner cheated on you? The answer is simple; human nature. We want what we can’t have and someone to fill the void.
So, if you want to find that rebound, then you should do it wisely. First off, do not rush into a rebound. It will only be meaningless sex, which will not make you feel better about losing the person you love.
You should take your time and be patient. Finding a rebound that will make you feel better will take some time.
15. Don’t Blame Yourself
You deserve the best partner in life and a good relationship that you can proudly show to your parents, relatives, friends, and colleagues.
How difficult is it to find your soul mate? It is not that difficult if you know how to properly choose a partner. Even though it may seem easier for some people to do so, it can be complicated for others.
You cannot blame yourself if you have been cheated on in a relationship. First, you should not blame yourself for choosing a partner who cheated on you. Everybody makes mistakes, and you certainly don’t want to be the person who is never wrong. You should blame yourself for not being careful enough.
It’s easy to blame yourself when your relationship ends for the wrong reasons, but there is a big difference between being a realist and blaming yourself.
We all make mistakes in life; it’s part of being human. You must be humble and realistic to understand what causes errors and how to avoid making them again.
The thing you need to do is to take a deep breath and learn how to forgive yourself. Nobody is perfect, and you should not expect to be the exception.
16. Counselling Can Improve Mental Health
When you think of going to the doctor or the psychiatrist, you may feel scared or depressed. In the past, even though most illnesses could be healed, people still needed to go to the hospital to find a cure. In this case, mental illness is viewed as something to be scared of because it has no physical appearance.
Sometimes, people are afraid they may be asked to take medications that might mess up their bodies. They may also feel nervous because they fear what other people will say or make fun of them.
It is essential because a psychiatrist is there to help you when you have different types of mental illnesses. The most important thing is to know that the mentally ill have a name and should be treated. When it comes to treatment, mental illness has a variety of options, which include medication and counseling.
When one asks the question, why should one go to a psychiatrist when having a mental illness? If you want to get rid of your mental illness as soon as possible and live everyday life, then you should opt for counseling sessions.
Treating your mental illness effectively depends on whether or not your psychiatrist will recommend you seek counseling sessions. So, what are you waiting for?
Book an appointment and improve your mental health today.